Not long ago I discovered that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP)[1] which means I process information and experiences in a different way than most people.[2] I am a deep thinker and tend to linger on things that I’m experiencing, often responding internally in an emotional way. Though it may not be apparent, I am deeply moved by these experiences and respond emotionally. At times things can be overwhelming. According to statistics one in five persons are born this way[3], and about fifty percent are men.[4] It feels weird for a me to realize this because it goes against the traditional view of men. We are told that men are rational and not emotional. Men don’t express feelings. Man don’t cry and if they do, they don’t do in public ever. When was the last time you heard a man asking another, “How are you feeling today?” We have been conditioned to avoid this. As much as we want to say that this is ok to ignore how we feel, we know it isn’t. We don’t have to believe this cultural idea. This is a genetic and innate trait according to those who have done the research.[5] However, this doesn’t mean that only this particular group is emotionally expressive.
When I learned this, it helped me understand myself, the way God has designed me. One of my favorite books in the Bible since I was young is the book of Psalms. It is now clear why. I believe David, the courageous king warrior who when he was young killed Goliath the giant, who wrote most of the Psalms which where songs and poems to God, was a highly sensitive person. I have no real evidence, but this is what I think from my reading the Psalms many times.
David wasn’t afraid to express his feelings and emotions to God. Here are few examples of the many found in the book of Psalms.
In Psalm 56:8 he says, “You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded everyone in your book.” (TLB). David cried a lot, especially when he was in difficult situations. He trusted God would deliver him.
In Psalm 42:5 David tells himself the state of his inner being, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” He is expressing his depressive mood and directs himself to God who can give him hope. In Psalms 143:4 David says, “my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.” In verse 7 he says, “my spirit fails!” David expresses his feelings to God and calls on God to answer him quickly.
Being sensitive, taking things to heart and expressing our feelings as a man isn’t something that we should feel ashamed or restricted because of cultural expectations. After all, we are humans made in the image of God; we reflect his emotive attributes not just the rational ones. This is how God has designed us and we should feel free to express our heart in the presence of others who are close to us and/or before God. What we feel and express may not always be correct, but it isn’t wrong when we admit them to God. King David did, and so should we.
[1] Called Sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS) in the research. See https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/human-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2023.1135440/full
[2] According to Elaine N. Aron author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms you”. The traits are depth processing, overstimulation, empathy and sensing.
[3] The Handbook for Highly Sensitive Persons by Mel Collins.
[4] See “Tips for highly sensitive men” Esther Bergsma is the author of The Brain of the Highly Sensitive Person which deals with the research done on the way the brain works in HSPs.
[5] See https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/human-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2023.1135440/full
