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I needed a father

Posted on March 12, 2013 by eig

Today my father died. Even though he abandoned us when we were children, he is the man God chose to bring me to life. I have never written about it anywhere, but I have always thought about the role of fathers and dads in their children.  I have also done a bit of reading about the role of fathers in children’s lives. The conclusion is indisputable (see this here and here). Fathers are important in the lives of their children. I guess that given the choice of a not so good father and no father, I would have chosen to have one. It was not granted to me. I do not hold any anger or resentment, nor do I judge the man who God chose to grant me life. He is certainly giving account to God now (Hebrews 9:27). I am thankful I live, and that God has blessed me with the gift of knowing Him.  It has always been very puzzling and disturbing though, how men can walk away from children they willingly conceive and never turn back. I have yet to understand this.

Growing up without a father was not easy. Living with women (seven and my mom) was not easy. I had no one to look up to. I had no concept what a man should be. I was insecure. I needed a father. Up to the age of 13, I had no male role models, none, not even granddads.  It was when I joined a church at the age of 13 that God put male role models in my life. The two youth leaders and my youth pastor became my role models. They weren’t perfect at all, yet God used them to shape me as a man. And yet, I still needed a father.

At the age of 21 I became a father myself. I had studied books and had an idea of what a father should be, yet experience taught me I really wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was. I needed a father. I wasn’t good with my hands as well (even now), I was no handyman, I needed a father.

As I look at my 20-year-old son and see how much he is like me makes me glad (and the fact he still calls me “Daddy.”). Not because I am perfect or because I feel I did so well as a father, but because I know he has a father. He has a role model. He knows what a man should be.  He has a point of reference for the day when he becomes a father himself. Yes, I took my role as a father seriously. It is my duty as a Christian.

Even now after all this time, today, when I heard my father had died, I thought how much I needed him.

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About eig

I post about my relationship with the Triune God as He has revealed Himself in The Holy Scriptures, the Bible. Escribo sobre lo que estoy aprendiendo de mi relación con mi Padre Dios, Dios Trino, tal como se ha revelado en las Sagradas Escrituras, la Biblia. Follower of Jesus. Husband. Father. Teacher. Pastor. Salvadorean by birth, Hispanic-American. Amateur Runner. Bibliophile. Seguidor de Jesús, esposo, papá, pastor, nacido en el Salvador, hispano-americano, corredor amateur y bibliófila. https://about.me/despond
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Breaking the dysfunction of men in Hispanic culture – Eig Blog
10 months ago

[…] I mentioned before, I grew up without a father and although I had male roles during my youth, none of them were […]

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Necesite un Padre – Eig Blog
10 months ago

[…] la vida. He escrito sobre ello en varias publicaciones mayormente en inglés, pero aquí comparto uno que escribí cuando mi padre falleció. Siempre he pensado en rol de los padres con sus hijos. […]

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