I am not a Good Parent

There is so much written out there about how to be a good parent. This assumes that we all need to be better parents or that we aren’t good enough. In the Bible I find the words of Jesus fascinating: “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). What does it mean? Here is what a search (AI gathered) told me it means, “This verse suggests that even imperfect parents can give good gifts to their children, and thus, the perfect heavenly Father will give even better gifts to those who ask Him. The passage emphasizes the importance of asking directly for what one needs from God, as He is more generous and loving than any earthly parent.” Yes, the emphasis is on God being the good Father. It is a common way of comparison that the Jesus used, from the lesser to the greater to make a point.

But now back to parenting. I believe I am not a good parent. I have four children (the oldest one my step child, my last two adopted), three are out of the home. One is 15 years old. Looking at the three who are out of the home, I know I could have done better. I am doing my best with the last one. But when you are involved in parenting you don’t think about it (unless it is your last one). You have make decisions and act. I can say though that every decision I have made was with them in mind. Yet, I know that many times my own sinfulness got in the way. The way I spoke or behaved wasn’t the best. But I wasn’t all bad, I did give good gifts to my children, and always will. But this in no way makes me less sinful or a good or great parent. I’ve come to realize that only my heavenly Father is perfect. He is the only one who gives the perfect gift of eternal life (which is what it basically says in Luke 11:13). He will never disappoint me as my own father that I never had. Being completely transparent, I have told the Lord that I wasn’t meant to be a father and yet he gave me four children to raise with my wife. All very different with unique circumstances.

I wish my children would realize that there isn’t a perfect parent and that what I did for them was with their ultimate good in mind. Just like my sinfulness got in the way so did theirs. But I was the parent. I’m sure they have their “list” of things that I didn’t do well. So do I for myself. All I hope is that they learn as they become parents themselves (two of them are already), that there isn’t a perfect parent and that even the better ones cannot guarantee that they will be perceived by their children as good when they grow up (I am sure there are some children who think so ). Regardless of what we think, we are all sinful people who cannot produce or raise perfect children. But we know who is the perfect Father. We should start by asking him for his good gifts and learn from his goodness. In Jesus’s words stated above, there is the idea the parents do some good. That should matter too not just what we didn’t do.