Adoption: An Answer to Prayer

Here is Mylee who would be 14 yrs. old

“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” – Psalm 127:3

 Ever since my wife and I got married 26 years ago we were interested in adoption. God in His sovereign will allowed us to only have two children who are both now married adults. We always wanted to have more and we tried many times (this is a whole complete story in itself) but once again we were not granted this. We tried adopting in the year 2003 through a Christian agency but we had to do foster first. We took a little girl named Mylee who was four months old. Almost four months later, she was returned to family members. We were sad and discouraged. 

Here is part of what I wrote December 2003:
16th: “It’s hard to conceive that after almost four months, this will be her last night with us. We have gotten used to her. We have seen her grow in this last four months. When she came to us that Friday she was so quiet, skinny and hardly did anything. Now she is talking much more and is crawling all over. How are we going to cope with this? I am going to miss her in the morning we I left for work. I always looked at her and touched her. When I got home from work, I was always anxious to see her and play with her. I am going to miss her looking at me with her big dark eyes in the morning when she would awake. And her smile. I am going to miss her waking me up in the middle of the nigh. I am going to miss her breathing when she was sleeping. I will miss her smell.”

And on the 18th I wrote: “This morning I missed seeing her in the crib. Everything was so different. Twice or more I touched her little shoes while driving trying to feel her again. I wondered how her first night away from us went. It was hard”

It was very hard. We kept a few mementos, one was a shoe which hung in my car until very recently.

As time passed it looked less likely that we would attempt to adopt. Private agencies charged too much and we didn’t have the funds. Around 2009 we thought of trying just one more time through our local agency. We went through parenting classes and became licensed in 2009.


On October 6, 2009 I wrote “I have played the movie about our adopted child, what it will be like, over and over. I pray for her wherever she may be, whether she is born or not. Her home awaits her. It is open with love waiting to embrace her. I only ask this to God. I want a daughter, another one, this is my greatest prayer.”
 

Now I can say she wasn’t born yet.

In January 2010 I wrote about my desire to adopt: “We will also start the process of adopting through our local agency. An adoption could happen this year but only God knows.”

At this time, to increase the likelihood of adoption we decided to change our desire to adopt one child under 3 to a sibling set provided the youngest was a girl and the oldest wasn’t older than seven.
Time passed and our hope started to dwindle. I prayed a lot for a little girl but no answer came. Our youngest son left for college in August 2010 and so we began a new life the two of us. By the beginning of 2012, I was ready to give up any hope of adoption. At that time I had been running and asking God fervently “one last time” I said to Him.  I remember asking Him for a loving daughter who would have delight in having her as our own. One of my favorite songs I used to play was Cinderella by S.C. Chapman.  Chapman  wrote after his grown daughter was out of the house and realized he missed some key moments with her. Similarly, I too felt my I missed a lot with my oldest daughter. I never got to dance the Cinderella dance: 

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew

Dancing with Cinderella

Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone”

I remember telling myself and others that I would never have that chance. I would never have another daughter. But God proved me wrong.

In April of 2012, my wife and I went to Europe to visit our son. On the 7th we read an email we received that week regarding two children with possibility to adopt. One was a girl 2 years old and the other one an 8 year old boy. We couldn’t believe it. We talked about it and decided to see the possibilities when we got back home.

On April 19 we met with the social workers to discuss the children. We saw their pictures and got information about them. We had 24 hours to decide. It took less for us to decide. On the 21st we met them and on the 27th  they came to our home. 

Our little girl was quiet and spoke almost nothing. In fact, the social worker told us, she could hardly get her to say anything or smile. She was developmentally about a year behind. In less than a year, she was speaking fluently and met her developmental goals. At age four puzzle has 1,000 pieces and she is almost done. Now she is a chatter box. She is a happy seven year old child. She is in second grade and has learned Spanish in school through a bilingual program. She is the attention of everyone anywhere we go. She is charming, sociable and loves to eat just about anything.
Every morning when she wakes up she asks, “May I have a hug and a kiss?” and I when I answer why, she tells me she is my daughter. When I kiss her when I leave for work she says, “Bye Daddy, I love you!”  I love those words! This morning we heard our favorite song. We have danced this song and hope in God that we will dance it when she marries.  

Our boy came to us very low academically. He was at first grade level when he was in second grade and could barely read. He had never read a chapter book in his life. He was put Special Education since first grade and was ostracized in the classroom with others. He couldn’t focus and his behavior wasn’t good either. After ending second grade, I worked with him all Summer long. By the start of third grade he was grade level and had read many chapter books. His behavior during second grade was better but not great. He finished at grade level and I was able to get him off special education. He has made incredible growth and he is now in 8th grade. He loves to read and is reading higher than his grade level. His behavior is much better, but still struggles with attention. He is on medication for ADD/ADHD. He is a kind boy who loves helping others and has a generous heart. He runs with me everyday and can run more than 4 miles. He also has a heart for God. So far he has read all of the Gospels, Genesis, Exodus, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Psalms, Provers and other books of the Bible (in the English Standard Version which adults use as well).  We know God has a plan for both of them. He will do great things in their lives to bring Him glory and blessings to others. Our role is to guide them along and be faithful to God.

Having them in our home, is an answer to prayer but we didn’t know how difficult the process would

be. They have been part of our family for over 5 years and we pray for God’s will to be done in their lives. We realized these children aren’t ours but God’s and our role, as long as God’s wants to, is to raise them for God’s glory. Not only was the adoption process long and difficult but the parenting as well. Both have made incredible growth in every way but it hasn’t been easy. It has tested me especially, in the area of patience.

He loves to read

In October of 2013 the adoption was finally finalized. They became legally part of our family. God answered our prayer to adopt, yes, in His timing. Our journey with them has only started. We have a long way to go. With thankful hearts to God, the support of family, friends and our church family (we are thankful for how our church family has prayed for us and given us encouragement through this time) our journey with our two children continues.


– updated on Nov. 2, 2017

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